Off World 2: Sanctuary Page 3

  “Thanks. I appreciate your offer. But…” Alex kept his distance. Sandy seemed like a nice guy. Seemed. No one knew better than Alex that looks could be deceiving. “You know that I have a few… issues."

  “I know you don’t like to be touched. You seem big on personal boundaries -- yours, especially. I’ve never known you to show much skin.”

  Alex nodded. He knew how he must look to outsiders. To anyone who didn’t know about his past, Alex realized he probably came off as more than just a little peculiar. Especially in a place as free and easy with its actions as Nelly’s.

  “Yeah.” For the first time since he’d left, Alex wanted to talk about the time he’d spent inside Earthly Delights, but the sudden lump in his throat wouldn’t allow words past.

  Oh, no. God, no.

  The prickle of tears behind his eyes was as shocking as it was horrifying. Alex hadn’t cried in years. Not since those first few months behind the high-security walls of the New Republic’s most exclusive pleasure resort, as just one of its rentable pleasures. Turning his head away, Alex willed his emotions back under control. “I…” Words wouldn’t come. “I, uh… I could use… I appreciate the help.”

  “Okay. You’ve got it, then. How about we talk more in the morning? I’m ready for bed. What about you?”

  Those big, dark eyes were looking at him. What did they really want from him? Sandy was too good to be true and Alex had learned from long, bitter experience how things that seemed that way turned out. “What about me?”

  “Ready to go to bed? To sleep -- just to sleep -- I promise.”

  Okay, so his impassive ‘never give ‘em a reaction to punish you for’ face was obviously history.

  “Where?” Besides the orange couch, there was nothing that looked even remotely like a bed. Although there was a staircase that presumably led to the second level Sandy had mentioned.

  “Wherever you like. There’s a bed upstairs. We can share it; or, if you want, we can flip for who gets the couch. I’ll give you a hint, though -- it’s nickname is the corkscrew. ‘Cause that’s what you need a spine like to get any sleep on it.”

  Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t. Either way, though, it didn’t matter. “I’ll take the couch. I’m a pretty restless sleeper. Trust me, you don’t want to share a bed with me.”

  And maybe Sandy’s measuring look held on a millisecond longer than usual, Alex couldn’t tell.

  “Whatever you say. The toilet’s behind that door.” Sandy gestured toward the only door visible besides the one they’d entered through, not counting the opening to the stairway. “Yell if you need anything.”

  Alex nodded and Sandy headed up the staircase to the second level. Rubbing one hand over his eyes, Alex thought back over what Sandy had said.

  Could anyone really be as genuine and even, God help him, as kind as Sandy seemed to be? Was he being paranoid again? It was entirely possible. Better paranoid, though, than dead in a ditch somewhere with a head full of chemicals.

  Sandy seemed like a good guy, like someone who might just possibly be trusted. He’d been coming into Nelly’s for as long as Alex had been working there. Longer, even. Hardly ever took a room, though.

  Alex lay down on the couch, facing the door, his back against the wall -- or as close to it as he could get, which happened to be the back of the couch. He tried to think back, if he’d ever seen Sandy take one of the themed rooms Nelly’s provided -- for a small fee, of course -- for the comfort and convenience of its customers.

  Twice. No, three times: once with Justin, once with Aaron, once with Pavel. A pretty eclectic sampling, now that he thought about it. Alex couldn’t say why he was thinking about Sandy’s choice of bed partners, he just folded one arm beneath his head for a pillow and settled in.

  This section of buildings must be pretty solid, because once Sandy disappeared up the stairs, Alex didn’t hear a thing. He couldn’t tell if it was just his imagination or if maybe that low rumble was Sandy letting out a groan. What did Sandy have to groan about? Maybe Sandy was really tired. Or maybe he was thinking about that little bitch Aaron and touching himself.

  It was none of Alex’s business whether or not Sandy jacked off, much less who Sandy thought about while he was engaging in that particular exercise.

  Alex closed his eyes and wondered what that would look like: Sandy touching himself.

  Chapter 3

  “How’s the coffee? Black, extra sugar, right?”

  “Actually, I’ve been easing off on the sugar lately. Or trying to, anyway.” Finished stirring his coffee, Alex poked one of the beignets D’abu had had delivered along with the coffees, licking at the powdered sugar that came off on his finger. “What’s this?”

  “Beignet. They’re Southern. I got hooked on ‘em when we were stationed in Alaska.”

  “I’m sure that statement makes sense in some alternate universe somewhere.”

  Alex sipped at his coffee and eyed the pastry suspiciously. His hair stuck out in about two dozen different directions and his clothes were wrinkled from having been slept in. D’abu decided he must be pretty far gone if the only word that came to mind to describe Alex was “adorable.”

  “You’re not much of a morning person, are you?”

  “And here I thought I was hiding it so well.” Alex looked up, something furtive hiding behind his misty blue eyes. “I’d kill for a smoke about now. You don’t have any, do you? No. Forget I asked.”

  Looking away, Alex began fidgeting with his food, tearing the innocent pastry into a dozen small pieces, not eating any of them. That perfect, kissable mouth, its high cupid’s bow drawing attention away from the full pink lower lip, beckoned.

  D’abu disliked having to ask, knowing instinctively that Alex would hate talking about it; hate revealing what he would no doubt consider weakness. “Do you still get cravings?”

  “Yeah. Once in a while. Not so much any more.” Even with the amount of time that had passed, Alex was still paying the price for something that hadn’t been in any way his fault.

  “Eat,” Sandy suggested.

  Alex glanced up quickly, but just as quickly his gaze skittered away. “Later, maybe. Can we talk about… It’s sick. I hate it.”

  “If it ever gets bad -- I know it’s bad, but I mean really bad. If you’re thinking about getting some and using again -- will you come to me first? I want to help.”

  “Sandy, I—” This time the pain was nakedly visible in Alex’s eyes and the sheer depth of it took D’abu’s breath away. “You don’t have to help. I’m fine. Same goes for Nick and that situation. I know you’re just trying to be a nice guy, but I’ll be fine. Really.”

  D’abu reached out and captured one fidgety hand, grasping it lightly in his own. “I’m helping. It’s a done deal, so let’s talk about our plan. How long have you and I been seeing each other?”

  Just holding Alex’s hand had D’abu’s blood flowing south. A few square inches of bare flesh touching and D’abu’s cock began to stir. How would he ever manage to kiss Alex, take Alex in his arms, and not push things harder than Alex could stand, if just palm to palm contact was making him hard?

  “You’re not really going to go through with it, are you?” Alex’s laugh was high and nervous and completely charming. A dimple on one cheek made a rare appearance and it was all D’abu could do not to wrap a hand around the back of Alex’s head and pull him close for a slow, hungry kiss.

  “You bet. How long have we been together? I say not long, or people would have noticed. Is our story going to be that we’ve been talking for a while now, but we only recently decided to take it further?”

  What panic-crazed thoughts were going through the man’s head? Alex was staring at their linked hands, his breath coming in short, choppy gasps. If Alex couldn’t tolerate even holding hands -- and in private, at that -- what hope did they have of making anyone believe they were lovers?

  “Give me a minute, okay?” Alex withdrew his fingers and D’abu’s heart sank. U
ntil Alex, not removing his hand completely, began to touch the pads of D’abu’s fingers -- lightly, in the most tentative of gestures. “This is hard. Harder than I thought.”

  Not as hard as I am.

  Their gazes met and D’abu tried to control his own breathing, even as he prayed that Alex couldn’t read in his eyes what was going through his head.

  He wanted Alex.

  Bad.

  “Take your time. I think maybe we ought to experiment a little bit, don’t you? Just a little. Until we’re comfortable around each other. It’s got to be believable that we’re seeing each other if you want your boss and his new partner to leave you alone.”

  He wasn’t trying to actively manipulate Alex -- that would be unconscionable. The words had come out of his mouth, though; had taken on a life of their own, almost without his choosing, and D’abu had recognized the perfect truth of them. Part of him was reveling in the fact that Alex’s request was playing so perfectly into his hands, even as another much bigger part of him squirmed with guilt.

  Alex continued to stare at the points where skin touched skin, letting his fingers float delicately over D’abu’s. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Alex nodded his head. More slowly yet, Alex raised his gaze and those tantalizing lips shaped a single word. “Okay.”

  “I’m going to kiss you now, Alex. Are you ready?”

  Alex nodded and, like in a dream, D’abu slowly leaned forward across the corner of the table that separated them. As the distance between them grew smaller, D’abu fought the urge leap on Alex, to take everything he wanted from that beautiful mouth. Alex moved closer by the tiniest of increments until they were centimeters apart, only to stop. D’abu flicked a quick glance aimed at catching Alex’s gaze, but found it was fixed firmly on his own lips. Anticipation eating him alive, D’abu moved closer still, until all that separated them was a few microns of filtered, purified, manufactured air.

  He touched his lips to Alex’s and had to close his eyes against the rush of emotion engulfing him. The sensation of soft lips beneath his own fired off neurons in his brain that communicated instantaneously with his dick. God help him, if a kiss did this to him, if Alex ever touched his dick D’abu’s heart would probably stop.

  Pressing against Alex’s mouth, gently, so gently, D’abu tilted his head a fraction and licked delicately into Alex’s mouth. The taste of Alex was -- God -- incredible. Alex’s shallow, panting breaths in D’abu’s ear were like an igniter to a plasma charge and D’abu had to touch. Had to. He brought a hand up to feel the dozens of tiny bristles stubbling Alex’s chin; knew in a momentary flash what it would be like to feel them rubbing against his face, his chest, his belly.

  It all happened in a moment and only a few seconds of real time elapsed before Alex pulled back. Quick, heaving little breaths made Alex’s chest rise and fall while his tongue flicked out daintily to catch the foreign taste on his lips.

  “I don’t know how to do this, Sandy. I don’t know if I can.” Alex ran that delicate, pink tongue around his lips again and D’abu was so hard he was afraid he might go off in his pants. “I’m sorry.”

  “Alex, honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing that happened to you was your fault.” Alex’s head jerked up at…what? His use of a pet name? D’abu could have kicked himself. Goddammit, he’d have to keep a stranglehold on his tongue before he let anything else slip out. “We’ll get through it, one step at a time.”

  “Sandy, I know you’re only trying to help, but… Respectfully, you don’t know anything about it.”

  Fair enough.

  “Maybe not. But I was a Marine in one of the Republic’s toughest units for over a decade and I do know a little bit about having to do things I had no control over. I know what that can do to your head sometimes. So any time you feel like talking about it, I’ll listen.”

  Alex stared introspectively at the table, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought about who-knew-what and D’abu wasn’t about to be the one to point out that their hands were still linked. Instead, D’abu used the time to study Alex in the bright, simulated light of the morning. He didn’t get the chance as often as he’d like.

  Dark hair complemented naturally pale skin and those pink undertones probably meant that Alex would flush charmingly when embarrassed or aroused. A fleeting smile crossed Alex’s face, allowing a glimpse of a mouthful of teeth before it was gone again. The prominent canines were hard to miss and the slight overlap of the two front teeth had D’abu wondering why, with the prevalence of cosmetic enhancements in this day and age, Alex had chosen to leave things natural. Or had the choice been his to make?

  “Sandy?” Alex glanced up.

  “Yeah?”

  “Have you ever-- Oh, sorry.” Noticing their entwined hands, Alex quickly pulled his back and, clasping both together, folded them self-consciously in his lap. “Have you ever done anything really bad? Something so terrible, that you felt like anything bad people might say about you later would be deserved? Something you could never forgive yourself for?”

  Trying to figure out what Alex could possibly be talking about in his own life kept the images at bay for a few moments, but inevitably they came. Usually they waited until he was asleep and his guard was down, but an invitation like Alex’s trumped D’abu’s defenses and memories of a dozen years of “peacekeeping” duties flooded his head. He shook his head to short-circuit the process, but a few snuck in anyway.

  Shattered lives.

  Dead children.

  Women who wished they were.

  Maybe Alex had a point. He couldn’t talk about it to someone who hadn’t been there.

  “No. Just the usual.”

  * * *

  “Alex, I needed a vodka tonic. This is gin. Could you fix it for me, please?”

  Shit.

  That was his third mistake already. He needed to focus. Nelly’s was busy tonight, but there was nothing special about that. Nelly’s was always busy. Doradus was the last speck of civilization in this sector of the asteroid belt and beyond it there was a whole lot of nothing. Last chance for gas, next five-hundred-fifty-million kilometers. Even if it hadn’t been, Nelly’s red-hot sex shows, made possible by the laissez faire non-New Republic laws that prevailed on Doradus, would have ensured its nightly packed house.

  “Try explaining to them that it’s not what they think they want -- it’s what I know they need. Save us both a lot of time and aggravation.” Alex’s withering glare back wasn’t an act. Normally the give-and-take banter between him and the servers was a big part of what he liked about the job. Tonight he just didn’t have the patience for it, though, so he remade the drink and tried to find it in himself to apologize.

  “What’s up with you tonight? It wasn’t my mistake. I even said ‘please.’” One of Nelly’s newest servers, Shae hadn’t been on Doradus long. Cute, red-haired, and petite, like most people who made it this far from the heart of civilization, Shae had come looking for a less regulated version of the society he’d come from. Who could sympathize more than Alex with that particular sentiment?

  “Sorry, Shae. No, you’re right. Here.” He handed over the fresh drink. “Tell your customer I made it a double -- on me.”

  “Thanks, Alex.” Shae turned to go, then turned back. “Why don’t you ask Joe to let you off early tonight? No offense, but you don’t look so hot. Are you feeling all right?”

  “I’m good. Just a little tired. Sorry about the drink, honey.”

  “That’s okay. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.” One last long, meaningful look and, cute little ass swaying, Shae left to tend to his tables.

  “Well, I see someone hasn’t lost any of his old magic. You always did know how to charm a boy out of his pants.” Smiling the quirky smile that had haunted Alex’s dreams so long ago, Nick Andrade leaned on the bar; his bright blue shirt shimmered, bringing out the blue of his eyes. “Could I trouble you for a sparkling water, do you think?”

  Refusing to rise to the b
ait -- and that’s what Nick’s remark had been, although, for the life of him, Alex couldn’t think why, Alex kept his expression neutral. “Sure thing, Nick. Here you go. On the house. Which would be you now, I guess.”

  “I guess it would be.” Nick sipped his water and watched Alex over the rim of his glass. “I really am sorry about how things turned out, Alex. You know I never meant for—”

  “You’re not going to keep bringing that up every time we see each other, are you? Once upon a time an apology from you might have meant something to me, but that water’s way under the bridge now, as far as I’m concerned.”